The 5 Things You Need To Know for January 31, 2019

Somebody make it go away. Make it all go away. We live in the tropics. It’s time for the tropics to be tropical.

  1. PRIMETIME: If you’re too young to know about just how bad (not bad meaning bad, bad meaning GOOD) Deion Sanders was, then you need to start by reading this article, then tuning into ESPN’s 30-for-30 on Fort Myers’ native son tonight at 9:00pm. While you’re at, get online or actually head to your local bookstore (yes, they still exist) and pick up a copy of “Fourth Down in Dunbar” by David Dorsey. You’re welcome. All you youngin’s that think you invented swag, prepare to be disappointed. You weren’t even remotely close to inventing that drip.
  2. You Serious, Clark?: Del Oro–more like Del Oh-no, amirite? Cue the Price Is Right loser trombone sound for that joke, but that’s where the joking matter come to a halt. For the second season in a row, Del Oro High School in the Sacramento Area can’t have nice things in the postseason. Last season was one thing, but this season it cost them a sectional title. The problem is that the California Interscholastic Federation (CIF) states that transfers must sit out six weeks before playing on varsity. Apparently someone lost track of time.
  3. MIZZOU, NOT LIKE THIS: So the news broke earlier today that Missouri’s Baseball, Softball, and Football teams are getting hammered for having a tutor complete work for 12 different athletes on the team. Instead of throwing the book at her, how about rewarding her for hitting said books harder than anyone in Columbia. She deserves a degree with a double-major, not a decade-long show cause. Of course there’s some sarcasm, but it’s about .00001 of an ounce. This is mostly about the hypocrisy, but you already knew that.
  4. HOOPIN’: The quest for perfection (during the regular season at least) for St. Petersburg has come to a close. The Green Devils made their way into southwest Pasco and took their first loss 75-65 to a really game Anclote squad. Props to the Sharks, and props to the Green Devils for getting this far. Let the “real” games begin in a matter of days when it’s loser goes home! Of note: Port Charlotte is still undefeated at 20-0, with a major test against Lehigh this evening on the road. MAJOR PROPS (in advance) to Seffner Christian’s Brylee Bartram who needs just 6 more 3-pointers this season to break the national record for girls hoops, which stands at 500. If she doesn’t do it tonight against Covenant Prep at home, she stands a good chance of breaking it against either Clearwater or Shorecrest Prep. Last but not least, you definitely need to swing by and pick up tickets (if it’s not too late) for the ARS Hoopfest at Berkeley Prep this weekend. On Friday, Tampa Prep hosts Orlando Christian Prep at 5:00pm, then the host school goes against Huntington Prep (WV) at 6:30, capped by Montverde’s CBD team playing IMG’s Post Grad squad at 8:00pm. On Saturday, it gets cranked up from jump. At 11:15am, St. Petersburg plays West Oaks Academy from Orlando. At 12:45pm, it’s Tampa Catholic vs. The Villages, at 4:30pm, it’s Montverde vs. Oak Hill on ESPNU, and at 6:00pm, it’s Huntington Prep taking on Oak Ridge.
  5. This Ain’t a Movie, Dawg: We’ve heard of “the light at the end of the tunnel,” but this just takes the cake, even for Florida. Presented without further commentary, enjoy: