THE BOX

101 reasons-questions-musings-requests as to why we think 2015 will be supercalifragilisticexpialidociously

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“HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!”….wait, what? It’s February; thanks Captain Obvious. We actually realize 2015 is in full-swing thanks to you Gregorian Buzz Killington’s that prefer order and structure; (whatEVERRRR)

However our new year has just begun now that National Signing Day is in the rear-view mirror. To get this party started, we thought it would pop-off like the finest sub-optimal bottle of Cooks and make this a “list” of the same vintage as the bubbly; and also to celebrate that Harper Lee has given us a sequel to “To Kill A Mockingbird” before Dre has produced “Detox”. (Editor’s note: Smh)

Here are 101 reasons-questions-musings-requests as to why we think 2015 will be supercalifragilisticexpialidociously spottieottiedopalicious in sports. Enjoy.

101

  1. A new playmaker will have to emerge at East Lake. The time of Dinovo, Scott, Campbell are gone. Who is next?
  2. Nate Craig will finally get to display his talent in a Tampa Catholic uniform.
  3. Football players wearing super tight jeans will start to fade.
  4. Lakeland’s youthful talent will take the main stage.
  5. Blake will start with another new head coach starting a new hope…
  6. So will Middleton.
  7. Northeast football team will introduce to us a surprise, this kid will be a good one.
  8. Fort Meade will thrive in their new 1A district, even though they need a Delta SkyMiles Account.
  9. Mike Smith Jr. Will emerge as one of the nastiest offensive linemen in the area.
  10. The University of South Florida football team will be bowl eligible in November.
  11. Florida State will not make the college football final four. YES! (Coming from a Florida Gator fan).
  12. Miami will have the best record of the Power-5 conference Florida schools.
  13. UCF will place a huge picture of Bright House Sports Network anchor Ryan Bass on the side of their stadium.
  14. The Florida Gators will lead the state in offensive yards gained from scrimmage.
  15. Football District 8A-6 district runner up is wide open because the champion will be Manatee. Or will it?
  16. Football District 7A-7 will be the most interesting and arguably the most competitive with Lakeland, Bartow, Winter Haven and Kathleen all in the same district.
  17. Weekie Wachee ATH Shawn O’Gorman will have the hottest cleats at every combine he attends this offseason.
  18. Auburndale RB, Artavis Pierce; East Lake, OL Julian Santos and Plant ATH, Juwan Burgess will battle for the highest flat top. (Note: None are at Alvin Bailey’s (Ex-Armwood, current Florida Gator) height yet.
  19. Bright House Sports Network will continue to handout those cool bright colored shades at games.
  20. Nobody knows who will lead 7A-8 in rushing this season with Ray-Ray McCloud III no longer eligible (graduation) at Sickles and Patrick Brooks not taking handoffs at Plant.
  21. Last season River Ridge junior RB Chris Schwarz averaged 224 yards per game. This season he will average just 223 yards…bummer.
  22. Pasco missing the playoffs this season would be like McDonald’s NOT continuously taking away and bringing back, taking away and bringing back the McRib. #CountOnIt
  23. Lake Gibson vs. Lake Wales will be one of the best games of the year.
  24. Clearwater will win the district…aaaand we just lost all of our Largo fans.
  25. Gulf will have a better record than Ridgewood, but River Ridge will have a better record than Gulf and win the battle of New Port Richey.
  26. 5A-10 looks like a good one. Jesuit, Jefferson, Robinson and Spoto will all go back and forth. We will have to wait and see what Middleton does.
  27. Tate Whatley, Strawberry Crest QB could set East County on fire!
  28. The screams will get louder for a Victory Christian vs. Lakeland Christian game.
  29. Marquis Zimmerman at Kathleen will not get the recruiting attention he deserves. Which is NOT great. Big Polk playmaker has skills.
  30. The next QB at Lakewood will be who?
  31. Hillsborough County will have 4 of the STATE’s Top 10 passers statistically-speaking.
  32. At least 8 of FLA’s Top 20 passers will be hailing from the Tampa Bay Area.
  33. Plant’s Joe Ryan and Scoop Bradshaw will once again out-tackle (254 combined) the Miami’s Coral Park and Dr. Krop High School’s entire team (243 & 242 respectively)
  34. Chris Okadokun will double his TD output from last season (9) and increase his completion percentage by at least 20% (47-percent in ’14)
  35. 2015 will show that 2017’s prospects might be pound-for-pound better than the 2016’s.
  36. Someone’s marching band MUST learn DJ Drama’s “Right Back” for times when their offense turns the ball over.
  37. Garrison Bryant will throw more TD passes than any other Pinellas County quarterback.
  38. Although there will be undefeated teams in-districts, no teams in the 2015 Sweet 16-poll will go undefeated during the regular season.
  39. The touchdown cannon at Countryside will cause cardiac arrest or an unsuspecting team and/or fanbase to stop-drop-and-run-for-cover
  40. IMG’s starting-22 will have enough star ranked players (if signed as one class) to be a Top 10 class on National Signing Day alone.
  41. Lakeland will pass the ball more than ever this year…Don’t hold your breath on that one.
  42. The FHSAA will allow IMG to join the Sun Belt instead of being Independent as a result of #40.
  43. Re: #14….Florida was 94th on offense out of 125 teams ranked in FBS…that’s not how this works…that’s not how ANY of this works. #crawlbeforeyouwalk
  44. Chip Kelly will be coaching a former QB from his quack-is-whack crew after the draft. (Coming from a Seminole Fan)
  45. Jameis Winston will be playing in Raymond James Stadium someday…as a member of the BOFA-Lo Bills.
  46. 2015 will be the best at demanding someone to act like a Saint in one of the most hedonistic cities in America…while playing a gladiator sport…via Twitter
  47. *cranes neck at the citizens of Tampa re: 46*
  48. Re: #12…that’s not how this works…that’s not how ANY of this works…#trolltrolltrollyourboat
  49. Bloomingdale’s Marching Band will (still) require more logistical planning than a pilgrimage to the Vatican each Friday.
  50. So will Mitchell’s…
  51. Tarpon Springs’ Marching Band national championship counts towards Pinellas’ ring-count IMHO,
  52. Kyle Farrington will catch the first TD pass of the 2015 season for East Lake.
  53. Jefferson’s Mondreas Lofton scores 3 special team touchdowns in 2015. An additional 2 will get called back because of yellow flags.
  54. 2015 is great because it’s not 2014.
  55. Plant will still have Datz’s Deli in the press box and they will still have a PA Announcer that reminds me of Burt Reynolds’ Character from that one movie or Harry Carey…like 5th-inning or so. #itsRexnotBradCulpepper
  56. Hudson will continue to print the coolest old-school programs around; containing more pages than ‘War and Peace’
  57. Jim Harbaugh will make an appearance on a BCP platform at some point. Because, Jim Harbaugh y’all. #crootin’
  58. IMG will recruit Florida better than all but two of the “Power 5” in the next two years.
  59. Oops. First rule of fight club.
  60. Well that wasn’t going to work-out anyways. Rules-shmules…
  61. 2015’s Life Advice for the human existence: “if you’ve got skeletons in your closet, better teach them how to two-step”
  62. 2015 will be special because someone will bring centralize funding to the top of the “I’m concerned about this” list.
  63. Speaking of weather, Dennis Phillips’ suspenders will be on full MACtion alert if the tropics statistically perform their duties per The Farmers Almanac.
  64. Wesley Chapel will be known for more than just the latest Toyotas. The football team will get a least 4 wins. Sessums will go to work this year.
  65. Somewhere RIGHT NOW someone is yelling at Bill Castle for making the wrong call in the 4th Quarter vs. Osceola. (Not a reason why ’15 will be great but hey…)
  66. Derrick Brooks will let me wear his Gold Hall of Fame jacket for a feature in a Bright House commercial.
  67. Benjamin Sermon, Lakeland Christian RB will force opposing defensive coaches to start tracking missed tackles. He is gonna give dudes the business.
  68. Keldric Broome, Lakeland LB will knock one helmet off this year in a game.
  69. 2015 will be great because Tampa Bay Tech 2017 receiver Daquon Green will get his official BCP nickname…To Be Determined.
  70. Malik Tyson…Just keep his name on the sticky note.
  71. QB Kyle Trina will take the hottest girl in the school to the Homecoming dance. That would “set 2015 off!”
  72. Mitchell WR JJ “3rd Floor” Lewis will have 300 plus yards receiving before game 5 of the 2015 season.
  73. 2015 equals greatness because someone will finally be cattle-prodded for using “bae”. Or mandatory Saturday School. Either one will suffice.
  74. New QB at Dixie Hollins. Chadrick Cann era begins
  75. Plant’s coaching staff will outnumber (yet again) over 30 different 1A schools players’ rosters.
  76. Armwood will have multiple games where they are called for more holding penalties than total points they allow to their opponents. Sike! Not this year. They cut the penalties down in half this season.
  77. Hardee QB, Hayden Lindsey will make himself known and not by creating a profile on Match.com. But by putting up solid passing numbers in 2015.
  78. Lennard will have their second consecutive winning season.
  79. BCP Fire 79 rankings will transform because new prospects will emerge.
  80. You can drive the wrong way on the interstate in Florida, but in 2015 DON’T YOU DARE ask for coffee at the State Finals after working for 15hrs straight.
  81. IMG will be referred to as FSU’s U-18’s Academy and will be annexed through Eminent Domain. Jimbo to be named Director of FIFA.
  82. Harbaugh and D’Antonio will take on Urban Meyer and James Franklin in a tag-team cage match at the Cabbage Patch during Bike Week.
  83. The hot chick from Game of War will be sidelined for BCP Xecutives Showcase. [Please don’t wake up yet]
  84. Marchalo Judge will knock someone completely out this year. Hopefully not in 7 on 7, but in pads. Please not in 7 on 7.
  85. There will be more players from FLA on Alabama and Auburn’s fall rosters than UCF’s.
  86. USF celebrated flipping a prospect from Stetson…in football. #neverforget
  87.  Tyree Rodman takes the field for Kathleen this season and surprises us all.
  88. 2015 will be great because Berkeley Prep will win the “The Hottest Moms” contest defeating defending champ, Plant.
  89. No one tailgates like Tampa Catholic. Do they still do the turkey legs before the game?
  90. Bob Hudson (East Lake head coach) will smile 23 more times than Sean Callahan (Armwood head coach) this season.
  91. Former Hillsborough County School superintendent MaryEllen Elia will make more money this year than South Florida Bulls football coach Willie Taggart and she won’t have a job. Crazy!
  92. Hillsborough’s Mike Hampton WILL NOT be confused with a former left-handed pitcher for the Braves and Rockies.
  93. Somebody will put Empanadas and Tamales on their concessions menu. Because the people demand this.
  94. Someone in this 2016 class from TB area will follow suit and not sign their LOI just to prove a point…even if they don’t need to.
  95. Andre Washington, Steinbrenner defensive lineman will be a “Pain in the you know what” for offensive coordinators. Going to have a great year.
  96. Mulberry will get back on track.
  97. And Father Lopez will make teams sick with their front four pressure.
  98. Bartow hopefully will not hit rock bottom again.
  99. Is that track surrounded by the appropriate bushes? (Price is Right Trombone due to bad flora/fauna joke)
  100. The first team to play Jamaican air horns after a first down via P.A. will be the recipient of ALL my booster monies available.
  101. 2015 will be great because we are here and we aren’t going ANYWHERE. Big County Preps doing big things. Thanks for your loyal and heartfelt support!

Doug Pugh, major contributor to this article