My fellow BCPers or Big County Prepians or whatever it is you call yourselves these days, allow me to congratulate you on another successful year of bantering, bickering and bemoaning. Your commitment to excellence in gossip and procrastination by spending time on our message board has set the standard for all non-anonymous, anonymous forums across this fine state of ours. You should consider yourselves worthy of consuming only the finest meats and cheeses in all of the land. You have been a part of something that would make the finest of muckrakers blush and some of you have managed to invent new forms of the English Language, (although we have not yet determined if said language is rooted in phonics, grammar or overall coherency. We just know that it exists because you do.)
The BCP Constituency has demanded a better product, a better perspective, a better way of life and you have asked us to step our games up. You have told us (through your actions) that no matter what we say, you do what you want and that it only takes 3,457 times to remind you that we don’t talk about Fight Club or Plant or Armwood in a negative light without dealing with the repercussions (usually punishable by death or caning like in Singapore.) You have shown us that your politics and your taste in women are about as palatable as a bowl of mystery substances from ‘Fear Factor.’ You have tried to provide the proper unbiased perspectives this great “nation” of ours needs through your blatant homerism. How should I put this, you guys are full of awesome.
My fellow disciples of the Jackson Order, through your posts and topics for consumption you made the Year of 2011 something that couldn’t possibly be forgotten. Whether “we” means staff or constituents we’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve fought and we’ve lied. We’ve sensationalized, we’ve simplified, we’ve stupefied, but most importantly we did it as the gigantic dysfunctional family that we are so blissfully and willingly accustomed to. Allow me to be the Helen Keller of your spiritual journey as we briefly review the outstanding moments of 2011 on the board starting from the days immediately following the 2011 Ignite Combine. Consider this your official State of the BCP Nation.
*MARCH*
You started strong by voting Nelson Agholor as the Best Player in the Area (as voted upon by a whopping 47 people…total.) As was the case with nearly everything on the board, the thread was filled with many astute and unbiased objections (can’t you just smell the sarcasm like standing outside a French Bakery around 5am?) Such groundbreaking questions about whether or not coaches playing organized sports in their entire lives were raised (these are important things you know.) There were write-in candidates that were better than listed candidates, however as is the norm rather than the exception, the blind squirrels found more than enough acorns to feed the family.
*APRIL*
“Any of you guys gonna apply for the Leto job?” Do I need to answer that or can I phone a friend? In all seriousness, anything associated with Leto got just as much attention on the board as the bigger fish in the sea from Hillsborough County did. The constituents called for one of their own Mr. HaydenFox, but to no avail. Now for the fun to begin…
*MAY*
[“Just had a workout with a WR from the NY Jets; we talked about the things in this thread. Well turns out the JETS run a certain play 10-12 times a game. Sounds crazy on that level doesn’t it? Well they run it out of 6 different formations. The scheme is fundamentally sound and the defense can’t be right if the QB reads it correct. Now to me that is not smoke and mirrors that is phenomenal coaching. The best part about it is the fans in the seats love the way they mix up the play calling. It’s the same freakin’ play!!”]
These are the words of a man of higher thinking. We must work to cultivate younger minds into seeing it through the eyes of a QB. There were many things discussed in the month of May as school began to wind down and spring practices and games played, but this topic was an opportunity to see our coaches flex their mental muscles a bit.
[“Got in on this one late; having seen both play in person, with the key words being high school DE. Got to go with Chickillo…some of the best hand placement I’ve ever seen at the prep level. Don’t get it twisted, Giddins was an OUTSTANDING prep DE as well, with incredible athleticism. Just think Chick was little more polished and technically sound at the HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL.”]
The relocation of our county’s best assets to places near and far is important, therefore keeping track of one of our best DE’s to play at the HS level in a while in his first season at Miami was important.
[“My understanding is that many of the STA players weren’t even from the state of Florida.”]……………[“Your understanding is full of ****”]
Can you believe this topic started out as Calvary Christian getting a new turf field? No. I’m talking about the Calvary Christian in Clearwater. You do know there’s a Calvary Christian in Clearwater right?
[“I think one kid who is either being forgotten or is flying under the radar is Few (Plant HS).”]
These are the words of an astute man or a well-accomplished coach or both. These are also the first words spoken about the young man that would go on to become the 1st-Team All-BCP Quarterback for the 2011 Season.
*JUNE*
[“So the High School ball CDS play’s is closer to little league competition than mid level high school competition?”]…….. [“Yeah I said it.”]…. [“They aren’t playing independent this year correct? Things will change. Sorry if I offended anyone from CDS I congratulate you on your success that you have had in a young program. I just think this year in district play things will be much tougher. I am interested in seeing them play Admiral Farragut.”]
Final Score: Admiral Farragut 49-41, but CDS’ Robert Davis went 19 carries for 326 yards and 4TD’s along with 12 tackles against a team that played for the 2A State Championship. Not bad. You know what else isn’t bad? 138-1,832-25….and 72 Tackles….
*JUNE con’t*
[“Small World” from Disney “Friday Song” by Rebecca Black. Just those two songs on a continuous loop.”] – Regarding songs on your iPod to get you fired up. This is where our summer starts to tread water folks. It’s going to get a little ugly for the next few months…
[“Just what the he** is going on here?”]
There were some upset folks over the dismissal of Donahoe out at Strawberry Crest, but things didn’t get any better apparently. There will be more on this later.
[“I’m a slow redneck from Lutz, so I need a breakdown here.”]………..[“Found out yesterday that if an 8th grader attends a camp that a coach works in the summer then that kids attends that coaches school for 9th, he is ineligible for 365 days upon entering that school; even if the student lives in your boundary.”]
One of the more entertaining topics amongst the Nation is when it comes to rules and eligibility. You might have it easier finding evidence of a Sasquatch in Westshore than getting a clear interpretation and/or consistent enforcement of said rules.
[“There is no advantage to attending schools in large metro areas like Dover where nine current players already have numerous D1 offers, including a QB with three D1 offers before playing a down.”]………….[“You of course are meaning Seffner?”]
Where do we begin with this? Of course this is a reference to Armwood which, along with Plant, won a state championship this season, but also seemed to have found themselves under a little stronger microscope than in recent years. This little gem was born from the Darryl Richardson transfer to Da ‘Wood from TBT.
[“Don’t worry about it now, still tryin’ to get the eggs out my eyes.”] One of the priceless exchanges during an always festive atmosphere whenever Hillsborough and their rosters come in to question. [“Recruiting…Hillsborough…The only person that didn’t know this has been going on is Lanness. Child Pleeeeeez. Why can’t we all just get along? Somebody start another Plant thread…”] MY EXACT SENTIMENTS SIR…however it’s the gentleman whose response below that may have said everything that’s needed to be said, I give you Mr. Marduk…
[“Seriously, folks…enough with this f****g horsesh!t about Plant or Armwood or Hillsborough recruiting. Even if anyone did — and I ain’t saying whether or not it goes on ‘cos I don’t give a rat’s a** — we’re talking about a governing body like the FHSAA….The FHSAA. Really. They don’t have the means to do a thorough, scour-every-nook-and-cranny investigation on anyone. When they act, it’s when they get smoking-gun type evidence. They ain’t the FBI, doin’ wiretaps on someone like that White dude who was taking bribes in the middle of a steakhouse. And none of these schools is exactly on Twitter telling everyone their business like the other Weiner, sending photos of their plungers….So get back to focusing on how good your school’s gonna be with who you got, not who you lost, who you might get, who someone else is pilfering, etc. Startin’ to ruin my sunny disposition”]
It’s ALWAYS SUNNY in your world sir.
*JULY*
[“Don’t put any Newsome kids on that list . . . again.”] Re: 49 Do Over. [“the top 22 should be as follows…Plants starting offence. Plants starting defence. next 27 up to u”] Remember how I said there would be moments that new languages were formed? [It’s called DRS (D*ck Rider Syndrome). You should seek help.”] All-in-all though the addition of Pinellas County to the Fire 49 is a good thing, and like our fearless leader said, [“It will take time and we are still attempting to build relationship over the bridge.”]
Two of our biggest stars YODA and CT both had soccer conundrums worthy of starting threads…WTF…I told you things might get a little weird during the summer.)
[“Please respond before Bocephus or Heady sees this. Thread will be hijacked”] re: Coaches Social. [“If you do it, do it somewhere centraly located but not Channelside, Ybor, or South Tampa. Those are high crime areas with too much hybrid traffic.”] I personally thought this was a sleeper for post of the year. Honestly. It’s freaking hilarious. Unfortunately, hardly anyone got the joke until Dr. Phil had to break it down for us. Talk about making a sad panda face. And then we have? The green dude chiming in. [“A wing eating contest for Bocephus and Tampa 1…A WAR room for East BAy and CT…A Wine tasting party for Yoda and Marduk…A Give Peace a chance Love In, for Heady and Hayden…Now for some real crap, give me Tone on the board for some 3rd down and 8, 3 by 2, defense…give me Jeremy Earle on his screen packages from Jefferson…give me BT and his inside blocking schemes…give me TJ Lane on some WR drills…give me PJ himself on some man techniques…give me RW himself on how he breaks down opponents film…and other county successful coaches I can steal sh$t from.”] Okie Dokie then.
[“Admiral Farragut is not Armwood! And Robert would need to run fast to get away from the Plant defense. No need to get fired up…your kids don’t go to CDS for Football…they go for what their parents perceive as a better education with smaller class sizes.”] re: Bay Area’s Best Units. There’s nothing funnier than watching LM or Bocephus troll each other like one is on a 40ft Hatteras and the other one swimming behind like a hungry Blue Marlin.
*AUGUST*
Remember the Dirty Dozen? Never Forget. Well, TRY to forget if you’re me. I’M NUMBER TEN!!! *clap* I’M NUMBER TEN!!! [“Doug is the RICO SUAVE of Prep Columnist/Radio Hosts/Analysts! Having worked with this gentleman on many occasions—I can say this rookie, if he stays in the biz, will continue putting together some eloquent penmanship digging up some great stories on preps in the Bay Area, and painting a unique perspective on games, players, and events. Doug is an English teacher first, with a passion for what he does working for kids. That’s a formula for success as a prep columnist!”] It’s also a formula for no sleep, constant worry about writer’s block and divorce. But enough about those guys, let’s talk about ME.
“No.” Answer to the question, “Can Matt Kitchie revive Leto Football?” Moving on…there’s your synopsis of that thread….
[“How many people really give a s***? Oh none!….carry on, carry on”] re: Armwood at Gorman…you get “60” guesses at who dropped this little diddy like a Chris Paul lob to Blake Griffin.
[“IMO, this was Cotey’s attempt to move from “reporter” to an honest to goodness “journalist”. To do so, you have to take a point of view…which he did. you may or may not like what he wrote, but the fact that there are many on this board chiming in with their pov’s means that he has been successful in his attempt. I am not taking a position either way on his content (don’t know enough), just stepping back and looking at the big picture. We all take risks to further our career and this was his…and I for one don’t blame him for having the balls to take a risk.”]
Looks like Mr. Cotey will not be receiving any Christmas Cards at this point from anyone in South Tampa. The irony of this encounter was the timing in which he was awarded his spot on the Dirty Dozen. His world was crushed at that point, but I have seen Mr. Cotey out and about since then and he’s in a good place. He just needed some time to get over the pain of being taken to the woodshed from the Panther Community. And the fact he’s been labeled as a journalist. Oh, the humanity.
*SEPTEMBER*
[“Easy choice…I’ll take both. Would that be inappropriate?”] This was an actual topic and it’s completely relevant to football… mock me if you must, but anyone turning down either one of these creatures created by God himself would have to be completely off their rocker. Or married. Anybody want to take a guess who the two are without even looking? Read below carefully. The better question is why the hell weren’t we talking about these sorts of things more often? [“Fellas this one is super easy. No disrespect to LM, she is smokin, but you are getting the best of both worlds in BB. Not only do you get to look at a smokin hot lady, but you have some PRIMO CHAMPIONSHIP GRADE A BLOODLINES running through them veins. You gotta lock that Athenian goddess of swimming down and breed like a 101 Dalmations. Again, no offense here but that is a f****** no brainer.”] Yep. He said that. [“What kind of man would even think about asking me to pick one over the other? That’s like a Sophie’s Choice, but with smart, attractive women. Can’t do it. Simply illogical and unethical on many stratas.”] I’m with you dude, and I’ve never dated a blonde in my life. Scouts honor.
[“Today we remember the great Mr. Lee Roy Selmon-his life, his legacy….a man who was not from Tampa Bay, but called it HOME- Buccaneer Ring of Honors first member, to his efforts in getting the USF Football program to what it is and growing to be. Bright House Sports Network (Bright House Cable Ch47/HS1147) will bring you live coverage of the memorial service (open to the public if you can or care to attend) Idlewild Baptist Church at 10am. RIP Mr. Selmon ♥ gone but never forgotten ♥”] I couldn’t have said it better myself. RIP Mr. Selmon…..
[“Wouldn’t it suck if your team flew from New Jersey, you’re down by 4 points in the 3rd qtr and the officials tell you “nice game—it’s over though….”] re: Hillsborough County Rules affecting the ending of the Plant-Bergen Catholic game, [“I want to sleep with Halle Berry but I’ve been forced to make adjustments. You guys should make adjustments too or don’t find a solution and deal with what happens. The game will probably end at halftime because Plant games run 45 minutes longer than most”] A solution-oriented response that was rendered moot after Plant’s game finished well in-time before the imposed curfew by Hillsborough County Athletics. For the record, Halle Berry is nice, but we must not let the perspective be ruled by the premise. She’s crazy. Run away. Try something softer like Gabrielle Union.
[“TBYFL, a very well run organization. The amount of players and cheerleaders participating is awesome to see. Each team has to have a corporate charter and be run like a corporation. Some better than others naturally. The TBYFL board led by Scott Levinson does a super job. Scott is a great guy and I know he has personally helped out schools and football functions as much as he could. The alumni out of that league is just sick.”] re: Where the best talent in the youth leagues are cultivated…
[“I won’t be looking back anytime soon. Warrior—you are just a speed bump in the path of a LEAN, MEAN, AND GREEN AMPHIBIOUS ASSAULT TANK.”] Yep. He said that too regarding Pick ‘Em’s [“Yoda, thanks for reminding me, I used to have that SMALL TOY TANK in my G.I. Joe set.”]
*OCTOBER*
“Plant Defense seems to be a “best kept secret.” Title of the thread that started to make me think upon further review that CT is the freaking Miss Cleo of BCP. Can I PLEASE get your political opinions too?
[“This is a non issue apples and oranges. Striker gets double teamed now .when Scarberry is accounted for on every play then you can draw up a comparison. Like having two fighters in different weight classes.”] I highlighted this, because as a somewhat loyal boxing fan through the decades you can have multiple badasses within one sport. Took it as no knock to Scarberry either. I’d take both of them on my team. Period.
[“For CCC vs TC right now, I’d take TC 28- CCC 9, with TC pulling away at the end of the 2nd quarter.”] HEY! Y’all remember this? [CCC by 10…”]….[“WW, send me your new address, I didn’t know you moved to Fantasy Island”] which led to in the end being… [“Jess, I gotta give it to you. You have made Crow a 5 star meal…Okay lets here it now.”]
*NOVEMBER*
[“I heard the SC coach actually ATE A BABY!!!!!!! My fat, slow, unathletic son told me his fat, slow, unathletic friend told him this when they were sitting on the bench at practice texting their other fat, unathletic, slow friends so it MUST be true.”] Re: Dickens suspended at Strawberry Crest…here’s some more GOLD…[“Really, why stop there, Mexican Coaches should be able to say HSIC or HWIC…Woman Coaches should be able to say HBIC…Jewish Coaches should be able to say HJIN…Asian Coaches HJIC….Whites HHIC…Stop already with all this PC….We need to go back to the 30s -40s and 50s when these word were alright to use and America was great.”]….*PAUSE. DEEP BREATH*….[“Ahhhh, the 30’s…unemployment in the upper 20’s, segregation to the point of separate waiting rooms, hospitals, schools, hotels, restaurants…Jim Crow laws…heck good old fashion lynchings. The 40’s…when men fought in this army for our country, but…they couldn’t serve in the same units, go pee in the same bathrooms…heck, we even did medical experiments on them without their knowledge…what great times!..The 50’s…as we used the power of law to keep America great…and separate.”] Now walk away.
[“That hasn’t worked for any Hillsborough team since 2003 besides Plant. But sure you can try it out. Lakeland has been more vulnerable these last 4 or 5 years on defense then I have ever seen. The shocking part is that it is stretching out over now what will be 5 seasons. Even more shocking is gone are days of the power fun it at you Lakeland option. Now they run all this finesse crap with Option influence…hasn’t worked besides 2008. Time to change it up.”] re: Potential matchup with Lakeland between either Tampa Bay Tech or Gaither…I love Lakeland’s Fans.
[“I think that kid is a flat out stud! So smooth & fluid but IMHO he can’t sniff the jock strap of Hargreaves. Shoot, he can’t even cover Hargreaves without doubling”] re: Vernon Hargreaves in response to someone saying Antonio Crawford was a shutdown corner. To say that feelings get hurt whenever someone from Wharton is mentioned in anything other than a worshipping tone is like saying that there’s never any traffic at the apex during rush hour. In other words, watch what you say about them Wildcats…I’ll agree though that Vernon Hargreaves is off-the-charts. Anyone NOT saying that is a damned fool. Regardless of location.
[“NAUGHTS, every time you mention Lakeland and “average talent” in the same sentence, you discredit every other logical and rational thing you have to say. Give it up, guy. Noone ’round here gives a fv<k about Lakeland, as much as you want them too.”] I love Lakeland’s Fans…
*DECEMBER*
[“Once again Hillsbrough county will prove it’s supremacy over its surrounding counties and CRUSH a East Lake team that has done well to get this far. It’s just to much to ask for them and they are WAY out classed in this one…”]………..[“Plant won’t lose until they reach the state finals….of which a team from South Fla will spank that booty.”] ………..[“I agree with Yoda’s logic on this one… I remember (barely after several Cisco, Maddog 20/20 and 5 hr energy enemas) losing to a team 78-0. I kept telling myself, “hey, it was really only 11-0. It was those pesky 11 plays they made, that we didnt” Yep, coupled with the above help, I made it to practice Mon.”]………[“ Sure hope they can score 28 in OT!!!!”]
What may have gone down as the game of the year between Hillsborough and Pinellas. This thread deserves to be last because it was first on the minds for everybody even those who didn’t have one ounce of connection to the game itself. This was the classic Hillsborough (like SEC Fans) vs. Pinellas (like ACC Fans)…a bay divided… and some absolute morons that trolled harder than Jose Wejebe in Costa Rica.
So there you have it my good citizens. You’ve been brought up-to-speed (or at least been given enough information to decide for yourselves) the state of the nation; the BCP Nation. From the shores of Safety Harbor to the coves of Gulfport.; from the mean streets of Hyde Park to the ghetto’s of Lutz and beyond. From the orange groves and private air charters needed to reach the SE part of the county (from anywhere), to the docks contained with coral sponges in Tarpon, this great area that we at BCP serve and you the constituents who consume our product we say thank you. Thank you for being awesome. Now, go forth and be more awesome. Go Hillsborough. Go Pinellas. Go BCP. Go America. Thank you. Have a good weekend.